My soapbox time… This is my opinion, based on my experiences. I recently read an article done by KAKE News about
the crime rate in Pratt County being double what it was last year at this time. My opinion, there is an epidemic of IV meth
users that I believe is higher than it has been in years. This town also has heroin being distributed. I am a recovering addict, I have been aware
of the drug problem in this town for years, as I was part of it. For as long as I have known, Pratt did not
have a high rate of heroin use, but that has now changed. The amount of people using meth intravenously
is extremely high. THAT is our problem,
drugs. If you look at the inmate roster
on the sheriff’s website, I would bet 99.9% of the cases are related to meth
use in one way or another, the other .1% is the occasional alcoholic that got
busted driving. In my opinion, our
problem has nothing to do with the increase in population because of oilfield
workers, it has everything to do with the fact that our public, our healthcare
professionals, and even our judicial system is uneducated about addiction. I am not blaming them or anyone, just stating
what I know, and hoping people learn from my mistakes.
Kansas does not have a strong support system for recovery,
and it is unfortunate. This state provides
few treatment centers and they are mostly 30 day programs. I will tell you about my experience of
getting sober. The first few days I got
sober, I wanted to leave, but all those options had been taken from me, so I
had to stay. The first few weeks of
sobriety, I was exhausted, physically and emotionally and depression started to
set in, so I slept as much as possible.
After all, that is less time you feel the detox effects on your
body. The 3rd week, I started
to feel like I may live again. Things
seemed a little better and I quit focusing so much on how I was going to get
out of that facility to get my drug of choice again, and I started to face the
reality that I was stuck there. Around
the 4th and 5th week of sobriety, ALL of the anxiety came
back stronger than ever and the cravings were worse than they were the first
few days I became sober. The problem
here is, this is when we are sending these newly sober addicts out to face
their new world. A 90 day treatment
program keeps the addict safe through these periods of sobriety when you are
most likely to use. The state of Kansas
needs to, in my opinion, either reform the current facilities that it mandates
people to go through after committing a crime, or invest in new facilities that
include 90-day male or female facilities, not unisex. Statistics prove that these programs are more
effective and the relapse rates are lower.
I have been through a 30-day program in Kansas several times and was
never successful in obtaining recovery.
I went through a 90-day program in California for women only, and I have
been sober for almost 2 ½ years and I feel my sobriety is stronger than ever. The programs in these two states are run
differently. In Kansas, you are taught
not to do drugs or drink. In California,
I saw a therapist to help me through the trauma of my past, I saw a spiritual
advisor to help me strengthen my faith and understand what I believed. She didn’t persuade me, she guided me on the
journey I chose. I had to cook my own
meals, buy my own groceries, live with other girls going through the same
thing, all in a house which was used as a treatment center. We had to learn to live again, take care of
ourselves, deal with issues of everyday life and confront the past we were
running from and numbing ourselves from feeling with drugs/alcohol, and we did
it in a safe, comfortable environment. That is what made it work for me. In California, the idea for recovery is based
on a spiritual awakening that is described in the Big Book. They don’t teach you “not to do drugs”, they
teach you to follow your higher power’s will over your own. When you have the spiritual awakening through
working your steps, the need to do drugs or drink alcohol is removed. There is nothing left to cover up. You are able to cope again. You are able to “feel” your life again, and
all of the hard work you did to get to this point becomes worth it, so you keep
going, and it keeps getting better…
Currently, we have a judicial system who believes they are
“punishing” an addict for criminal activity by putting them in a jail cell for
a short period of time and then allowing them to bail out and continue on with
a warning, “If you do it again…” There
is no reforming people, because we never get down to the nitty-gritty of the
problem. We occasionally send them to
the 30-day program to “get sober” and we think we are giving them the
“opportunity” to change their lives.
This could not be further from the truth. The judicial system needs to understand that
an addict never just sat down one day and said, “I want to become an addict and
completely destroy my life and the life of my family members, kids, and everybody
who cares about me.” That’s not how it
happens. People sometimes “experiment”
with drugs and drinking in high school, sometimes later in life. You often hear those people say, I never had
a problem, I just quit. The point when
that person starts using a substance to cope with problems and traumas in their
lives is the point when they become an addict, I believe. I was on pain medicine of high doses, for a
nerve disease, for 10 years before I started using it to numb the emotional
pain as much as the physical pain. My now
ex-husband and I went through a divorce and it was devastating. That’s the first time I remember taking a
couple pain pills after I put my son to bed, just so I could relax and not
cry. That is the point I became an
addict I believe. I never wanted this
for my life, although I can say now I am grateful for my addiction as I believe
my life is far better than it ever was before my addiction. The judges who release these people from jail
by lowering their bonds to be affordable after they believe they have been
there long enough to learn their lesson, need to understand that for an addict,
they cannot “learn their lesson.” For an
addict, the substance they are addicted to is a necessity. Their brains need it as bad as oxygen and
water. It’s much like if you were
drowning, and your body is getting lower and lower on oxygen, your brain tells
your body to do whatever it has to do to take one last breath. That’s the way an addict’s brain works for
their drug of choice. They will steal,
cheat, lie, they will do ANYTING to get that drug. An addict’s brain is sick and it sees it no
different than that oxygen you just saw yourself fighting for. For most families of these addicts, they are
relieved when their loved one is in jail because it is the only place they know
they are safe.
A murder in Pratt?
Seems shocking in our small town, until you consider the drug
problem. You have a group of people pushing
methamphetamines into their veins, which makes them paranoid and feel above the
law, along with many delusions and hallucinations from being awake so
long. Then you give them access to a
gun, not a safe mix. Obviously I do not
know that this young man was on meth when he committed this crime, but I do
know meth was involved in the reason for the crime, and it is so unfortunate
that this young woman lost her life, many prayers to her family. If you think about it, this is the first
generation that has been raised with not being allowed to show or practice
their faith in a school setting, or really anywhere in public. So, now we have young kids, drugs, guns, NO right
to speak/think of a higher power for the majority of their day, that have not
developed enough to truly understand the consequences of their actions or what
death really means and who it affects.
That is a scary thought…
I believe our state needs to reform its recovery system so
we are able to change this crime rate and actually help people change their
lives so they can get out of the vicious cycle an addict’s decisions lead them
to. We need to educate people and
educate each other on solutions.
Who am I? I am an RN,
although I no longer feel safe practicing in the medical field because of my
addiction. I currently help manage a
very successful company that my family owns.
I am a single mother to two beautiful boys that are happy to have a
healthy mommy. After all, my oldest
witnessed me near death several times. I
am a daughter to two wonderful parents who almost lost their will to live
watching me go through my addiction and not being able to save me from
myself. I now work with and spend most
of my waking days with my parents, because my sobriety brought me so close to
both of them. I am the sister to a
wonderful woman that I completely lost my relationship with at one point
because of my addiction, and now have a better relationship than ever
before. I am the aunt to three beautiful
babies that get to spend time with me whenever possible after going years
without being able to see me at all. I
am a beautiful, strong, independent, hard working woman, who never thought I
was worth anything and now I see my strength, and what I have overcome and I
love who I am today.
Obviously, all of this is my opinion and is only based on my
experience. I don’t tell my story to get
people to look at me like I’m crazy, feel sorry for my family, or think bad of
me for my past. I tell my story because I AM YOU. I am your family member. I am someone you know… Addiction does not discriminate. I AM
YOU.
